How could this guy be an informant for the FBI
When his last name sounds like some crummy Russian spy?
It wasn’t even covered up because his last name is Smirnov;
It sounds like some knock-off version of Smirnoff.
He must have been drinking too much vodka
Because he made up stories about Hunter Biden with Burisma
When the facts show that no lies were needed to be told about Hunter acting a clown
Because he does drugs and smashes women all over the town.
He was husky in college
And seemed like he would be a good pro with acquired knowledge,
But he went to college to Washington instead of Connecticut
His pro career has gone downhill because he lacks etiquette.
He proved to be a total con
Because he punked out and did nothing a few years back when he was elbowed by LeBron.
The reason why he was drafted by Detroit
Was that they thought he would do exploits.
How is it that you are still an NBA player
After sucker-punching an opponent, there is nothing else that is gayer.
You have chosen the wrong example to follow on the NBA scene
Because you have attempted to copy the antics of Draymond Green.
We won’t see him for the rest of the season because he is too hurt.
Work on your game this summer or I will be watching your highlights for the Shanghai Sharks next season, Isaiah Stewart.
Here is what we learned about the state of Alabama attempting to ban IVF.
Whenever Alabama is compared to the other 49 states, they always grade out with an F.
You would never mistake them for having cognitive thought like Carl Sagan.
The state sucks so much that they ran off Nick Saban.
Then, we found out that a Christian judge was against in vitro fertilization
Even though Jesus Christ was born through artificial insemination.
The judge’s name is Tom Parker.
Remember “Meet the Parkers” – he is about as dumb as Kim Parker.
He claims that his theology is called “Seven Mountains” where a bunch of people babble on.
Pretending to be Christians by naming their theology like the false theology of Revelation’s seven hills of Babylon.
These are the ones that claim that their foundation is rock solid, but they are really on sinking sand.
People that do not do what the Lord says, but they still use Christianity as their brand.
They really need to be sued for libel
For their misinterpretation of the Bible.
When life hands you the runs, then your stomach is telling you that you need to eat a banana, man.
When you want to see a Super Bowl choke, then you know that it will involve Kyle Shanahan.
Nepotism is a flawed practice mired in mediocrity because his dad won two Super Bowls.
In one decade, Kyle Shanahan has choked away three Super Bowls.
He was the offensive coordinator for the Falcons when they were up at halftime 28-3.
He forgot to call run plays in the second half for the Patriots to have the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history.
You would think that he would have learned from this mistake,
But he became addicted to choking away games with the highest stakes.
Then, he became the head coach of the Niners,
But the two double-digit chokes against the Chiefs in the second half has him struggling for air as if he is in the Steiner Recliner.
This second choke against Kansas City was an even worse charade
Because people ended up being shot and killed at this year’s Chiefs parade.
The only way that he can be rescued from another Super Bowl downfall
Is to actually commit in the second half to running the ball.
Then, he threw defensive coordinator Steve Wilks under the bus and had him fired
Instead of canning the special teams coach after the blocked extra point and the fumble on the punt return that was not admired.
We all that his main goal in life was to revolutionize professional wrestling,
But his focus over the years was to force girls into non-consensual nestling.
WWE this year will absolutely be grand
Because the organization no longer has to deal with Vince McMahon.
He just sold his stock for 700 million dollars
But was too greedy to finish paying his court settlement for harassment of 2 million dollars.
After breaking the details of that NDA,
The lady then broke down the details of where he scattered his DNA.
In regards to wrestling promotion, he goes down in history as one of the best,
But he threw all the accolades away so that he could take a dump on a woman’s chest.
Now, that’s an absolute screamer
Because the released text messages revealed everything about that Cleveland steamer.
Based upon all of these details,
While he was running WWE, all that he was doing was taking steroids and harassing females.
All of that steroid use has left good results since he is still chiseled like a rock,
But all of that steroid use probably explains why all of the WWE pay-per-views are shown on Peacock.
Usually, April showers brings May flowers
But two months before April showers this year, we saw the blunders of Zay Flowers.
He was playing good in the NFL Playoffs
Until the second half against the Chiefs when his brain took the rest of the day off.
Plenty of people thought that this would be a victory for Baltimore,
But because of Zay Flowers, this Ravens season is nevermore.
Flowers caught a huge pass in the 3rd quarter inside the Chiefs ten,
But he started celebrating too much when the team was still down by ten.
His prideful actions will forever give Baltimore fans a haunting
Because that turned into a 15-yard penalty for taunting.
Then, the fourth quarter’s first play
He fumbled at the one and gave the game away.
Sowing and reaping happened instantly with the karma coming straight from Heaven.
What makes it worse is that Baltimore lost by seven.
In other cases, we would give a rookie some latitude,
But he will not receive grace because of his horrible attitude.
Seeing that he played college football at Boston College
Infers that he is a Masshole that lacks knowledge.
His diva mentality in that game was strictly homo.
Because of his mistakes, we are forced for two weeks to watch Taylor Swift Super Bowl promos.
Have you ever noticed that whenever a Black man gets braids that his attitude becomes pissy
With emotional rage that always makes him look like a sissy?
Have you ever noticed that whenever a Black man with braids fails
Is due to their lack of emotional awareness since Black men with braids are always at ten on the diva scale?
Thousands of years ago, braiding was created in Africa and revolutionized fashion,
But the braids were intentionally a hair style created for women.
That explains why the attitudes of Black men with braids become more and more feminine.
That hairstyle takes away the testosterone and gradually replaces it with estrogen.
Samson was the strongest person on Earth until he was jaded and got his hair braided.
Then, he became a simp to Delilah and then he was faded.
In regards to Black men with braids, what would Jesus do?
Well, Coptic paintings of Christ show that braids is something that he didn’t do.
He was a Trump aide and nobody stepped up on his behalf with no avail.
Now, Peter Navarro is going to jail.
The water in prison is worse than Aquafina.
To avoid the clink, all he had to do was show up for the subpoena
And then plead the Fifth Amendment,
This guy being ignorantly dumb is an understatement.
Somebody needs to tell Peter Navarro
That if they are talking about breadsticks in the joint, then they are not talking about Sbarro.
If you have to fly on the next trip where you are going,
Then you will have to check which style of plane you will be on from Boeing.
I don’t mean to be morbid, but I am just speaking facts.
Please make sure that you do not fly on a 737 Max.
The first one crashed over Indonesia in 2011.
If they were Muslim, then they disqualified themselves from Heaven.
The next crash happened in Ethiopia in 2018.
Boeing is making sure to send their defective planes to kill Asians and Africans in the aviation scene.
Then, a door on a 737 Max flew wide open in flight over Oregon.
If it wasn’t for the grace of God, everyone on that plane would have been all gone.
Last month, Boeing was out here killing US military
When eight service members died in Japan in an Osprey.
People at Boeing, fix your planes!
We have been waiting for 13 years. Use your brains!
Wander Franco was going to be the centerpiece for the Tampa Bay Rays,
But he only liked to have sex with women that has lived on this earth less than 5,000 days.
He was on course to be one of the best players in the majors,
But his problem is that he was only thinking about being in minors.
He was going to rule the baseball scene for this decade,
But he only liked junior high girls with good grades.
Who would have thought that Wander Franco
Would have become the Dominican James Franco?
With all that money, he should have been messing around with adult women and going by the book.
Instead, he chose for his favorite song to be “Only Sixteen” by Sam Cooke.
I am guessing that a full-grown woman was someone he couldn’t handle.
His favorite all-time movie must be “Sixteen Candles.”
Here is something about his name that you should ponder.
His calling was in his name. Away from adult women, he chose to wander.
It’s not ironic that her last name is Gay
Because everything that she says is kind of gay.
Everything that she says is sort of suspect
Without any introspection and without any observation of aspects.
Her supporters want her to keep her job as the President of Harvard
Even though she keeps saying dumb stuff like Colin Cowherd.
Her supporters want everyone to show her some pity
Even though she said the dumbest stuff while being interviewed by the House Committee.
When Martin Lawrence saw her being questioned on TV,
Then all that he could say was “Bee-Dee-Bee!”
She must have had a brain freeze as if she was drinking a slush from Sonic.
How is she wise when she was outsmarted by a question from Rep. Elise Stefanik?
Then, she was caught plagiarizing her thesis
Because she does not know how to create things like Jesus.
Nobody should have supported her from the jump
Because she is as bad of a plagiarizer as Melania Trump.
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